贾母的委屈
《蒋勋说红楼梦》（一百六十九）
一、“贾政见他母亲来了，又急又痛”，有点不知如何是好了，连忙迎出来。这种大家族的教养非常严格，就算再生气，见到母亲依然诚惶诚恐。
1. "When Jia Zheng saw his mother coming, he felt both anxious and pained," becoming somewhat at a loss. He hurried out to greet her. The upbringing in such prominent families was extremely strict—no matter how angry one might be, upon seeing their mother, they would still be filled with reverence and apprehension.
二、贾家隶属满洲旗下，旗人的母权是非常大的。一般是少奶奶管家，王熙凤一嫁进来就开始管家了，贾母当年也曾是管家。
2. The Jia family belonged to the Manchu banners, and maternal authority among the banner people was very significant. Typically, the young mistress managed the household. Wang Xifeng began managing the household right after marrying into the family, and Lady Jia had also been a household manager in her day.
三、贾母熬到老太太这个辈分的时候，就成了家族中最有地位的人，所以贾政非常怕母亲。
3. By the time Lady Jia reached the seniority of the family matriarch, she became the most authoritative figure in the clan. This is why Jia Zheng was so afraid of his mother.
四、中国古代的母权不管在社会上扮演什么角色，只要妈妈一出现，你立刻就变成孩子了，自我个性全部丧失。可见，儒家伦理是维系了社会的某种秩序，可这种秩序往往是以丧失自我为前提的。
4. Regardless of the social role maternal authority played in ancient China, the moment one's mother appeared, one immediately reverted to being a child, with all personal identity lost. This shows that while Confucian ethics maintained a certain social order, this order often came at the cost of losing one's self.
五、古代的“三从”，就是从三个男人，在家从父，出嫁从夫，夫死从子。贾母、王夫人、李纨哭的都是“三从”里面的东西，在儒家伦理与儒家文化为主流的社会里，她们根本就没有自我。
5. The ancient "three obediences" meant obeying three men: obeying one's father before marriage, obeying one's husband after marriage, and obeying one's sons after the husband's death. The tears of Lady Jia, Lady Wang, and Li Wan were all shed for matters related to these "three obediences." In a society dominated by Confucian ethics and culture, they had no sense of self whatsoever.
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